Chinese Name, Korean Race, American Person

If you have met someone with the last name Chi, more often than not, he or she is Chinese. My family and I, on the other hand, are Korean; and to this day I have yet to meet another Korean Chi. 

So how does having a Chinese last name play out in my life when I'm actually Korean? It's both good and bad. On one hand, it's a great conversation starter and has prompted me to have meaningful discussions about race and culture. On the other hand, it leads to a lot of assumptions like when a Korean teacher assumed I was Chinese from the roster and did not attempt to challenge my Korean speaking skills. 

Though I don't know the exact origin of the name, (whether it was a typo from my grandparent's name Choi, or if we somehow descended from a Chinese clan) it has shaped how I felt different from other Korean-Americans as many Korean-Americans are deeply rooted to their Korean half of their identity more than their American side. 

This was evident to me when my eighth grade history teacher asked the class "If you consider yourself American, raise your hand" and only the non-Asian kids raised their hands. The Asian-American kids usually thought of themselves as Chinese, Taiwanese, Korean, Vietnamese, etc. without the added -American. I was one of the kids who believed she was one of the sole Koreans until I realized that I was more of an American than I thought. I began to realize that I favored American cultural perspectives regarding race, gender, sexuality, and self expression to a greater extent than Korean cultural perspectives. 

For example, the American and Korean perspectives on beauty are vastly different. Now, I'm just generalizing here, but most American media encourages women to be happy with the features she was born with and to enhance the natural beauty that God has so graciously given us (please note the sarcasm). If you look at the statistics on Korean plastic surgery, you can see that Koreans believe that the face that you were born with is just an option. Basically, Koreans believe that if you can fix it, why not? 

My mom is traditionally Korean and she believes that plastic surgery is the best way for a woman to enhance her beauty whereas I believe that it is a woman's confidence and self esteem that lets her beauty shine through. She has pushed me to get surgery on my eyes, nose, and jaw so that I can fit the Korean standard of beauty and be wed to a nice Korean man who likes all those features. I have consistently argued against her that I do not want any procedure done to my face (although I have gotten moles removed).

All in all, my Chinese last name and Korean upbringing has showed me that being an American is the part of me that I feel very lucky to have.